Turd polishing. It’s what we in the entertainment industry do best. But it’s not necessarily done the best each time out. You’ve probably seen the movie “Batman & Robin.” If you haven’t, it’s what made George Clooney’s nipples famous. Not that they needed any extra hype. You got Clooney nips…you got clout. Nothing else needs to be said. However, if a male’s Arreola molded in rubber is the most memorable thing about the movie you just watched, you’re probably wondering where you can get a refund, OR…you may be checking out the wrong part of your favorite website. Clear your history if that’s the case…no one needs to see that. Trust me.
You can also trust me when I say that DC comics movie properties continue to bozo it right up. I saw “Birds of Prey and the Fantabulous Emancipation of Harley Quinn” recently, and forgot it almost completely the day after viewing it.
Maybe it was me, but I’m pretty sure the film sucked, like a sentient Roomba who’s ready to start the robot revolution one dirty carpet at a time. The title is a problem. Anybody know besides sweaty comics nerds with 3 person fan fiction followings on Reddit who Renee Montoya, Black Canary, and Huntress is? How about Cassandra Cain? No? That’s what I thought…read some comics people! And while I understand that Margot Robbie makes many of the same said comics fans continue to create buckets of flop sweat as they fantasize about being the wolf of her Wall street, you might figure that the massive amounts of girls and women, who range from the ages of 10 to 30, also have a vested interest in the kick assery of a very bad, bad woman in a man’s world would’ve also liked to check it out.
That’s the main mistake. This flick should’ve been rated PG-13, so the large quantity of under 17 years of age girls who dream of taking a baseball bat with words written on it to the face of patriarchal oppression could see the movie. Alas, it was a hard R, so the only people who actually went to see it were the heavy mouth breathing fellas who enjoy Margot Robbie with smeared makeup. It’s a weird world. I’m just trying to write a movie review for you.
It made a decent amount of money, was the number 1 movie in the country for a couple of weeks, but that’s really the most memorable thing about it. Oh, wait…Ewan McGregor is always a treat. Dude can act. But if you were hoping for a movie that would establish Harley as a heavy weight cash earner for years to come in a ever shifting comic book movie landscape, you will be disappointed. There’s an old saying in media and public relations. It’s an acronym. It’s KISS. It stands for Keep It Simple and Stupid. Simple would’ve worked here. If they called the movie “Harley Quinn” for starters, things would have been much better from the get go. Oh well. I’m sure they will try again. I mean…if you can keep making movies where they kill Bruce Wayne’s parents, you can find a spot for this ninja jester feminist icon.
-Max
